Thank God my parents aren't freaks.

ok, so I like to stumble around on the internet a lot, and today I came across something so sickening and bizzare that I thought I just HAD to post about it. Take a look at the screen shot below from the website Marry Our Daughter:



This may or may not be a joke, but lets pretend it is completely legitimate. So basically, if a family needs some extra money, like say for some medical bills, a new room addition to the trailer house, or maybe their wild crack addiction they can jst put their young (I didn't see any over 17) daughter on the site and allow some stranger on the internet to click the handy little "I propose!" button and marry their daughter. The cheapest bargain bride I saw listed was for $5995 and the most expensive was $99,995. There is also a great little testimonials section. I have copied and pasted it below and bolded my FAVORITE parts!



Thank God for your site! Our daughter was really nervous walking down the aisle, but she seems okay now and the money we got let us keep our farm and even add on a few acres."

—Mrs. Addrien L.
(congrats on your new acres Mrs. Affrien, I hope that your daughter, whom you obviously love dearly becomes a little more than "okay" with her new life.)

"At first we were worried that Janine was too young to get married, (no kidding?) but then her new husband bought her a house and a car and jewelry (WOO!!!) and the money we got let us buy a house for ourselves. Getting out of the trailer park at our age was the best thing that ever happened to us, and it’s all thanks to Marry Our Daughter!"

—Mr. Jack M.


“I was SO scared getting married so young, but my husband is an okay guy and I am SO proud that because of me my parents were able to get their first brand-new car and take the trip they always wanted to. I couldn’t have done it without your site!"

—Katrina K., married at 14
(wow Katrina, he sounds like a great catch. When i think of the husband I might have someday (by my own free will of course) of my life I hope I can be crazy in love with him enough to refer to him as an okay guy!! I am sure glad your utterly unselfish parents got to take a trip at the expense of your future!)


“Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too!"

—Mrs. James P.
(wow, so I was only going to highlight bits and pieces, but EVERYTHING in this example made me throw up a little bit in the back of my mouth. You know Mrs. James, maybe Mary was mopey because you are a freaking psycho.)

“My mother thought I was getting ‘too frisky” and that I had to get married right away before I lost my purity to some high school boy. Marry Our Daughter found me a husband and my parents were able to keep their house and pay off my mother’s medical bills. I was so glad I could help them, and being married at my age (I'm 16 now) has a lot of advantages, like my own credit card!"

—Nancy A.
(this girl really has it made, a most likely 30 year old man as a husband who was desperate enough to propose to her by clicking a button, a sickly and selfish mother, and debt up to her eyeballs!!)


Really, if you really don't want a daughter because she "mopes around the house" or kisses her same age boyfriend a little to much just don't have kids to begin with. Really, its like buying a new puppy and the dropping it off at the animal shelter because it got annoying. Except this animal shelter pays you lots of money.

Those testimonials are quite compelling though... I am thinking about applying myself. What do you guys think about my ad so far?


The only thing I think my mother would disagree with would be my asking price. Since my mom is a NORMAL, LOVING, AND ALL AROUND AWESOME mom she would have put in PRICELESS instead of any amount of cash. But hey, maybe a jacuzzi and a BMW would change her mind.